How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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