we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He shit in the fireplace
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
