i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I need moral support for this bender
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
