the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
