I'll bet she douches with gravy.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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