so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
