he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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