If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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