No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
