Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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