addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize