i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
