when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
