I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
They have beer where we have blood.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
