its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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