The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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