my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
