he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
