my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
