i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm too high and old for this...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
