under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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