sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
