I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize