So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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