Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
