So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
