Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
