I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
