The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
