Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
