Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
