I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize