Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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