talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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