i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
