Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
