Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Randomize
