like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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