Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Shame is for Republicans.
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