As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
