This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
