So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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