Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize