On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
