we have officially lost it.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
