Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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