i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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