WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
