i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
