You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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