oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
