Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
