Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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