you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I need a beard to bite.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
