Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
