i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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