If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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