Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
