i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
