i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
