so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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