Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
