Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
