what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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