So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
