YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize