question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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