I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
